Driving The Miles in Traffic….Why?

As a newbie to the traffic world I can tell you that I’m not adjusting well!  The worse part for me is the fact that every day is unpredictable!  There was a time when I told my husband, who also didn’t drive in traffic on a daily basis, that getting upset wasn’t going to help!  I knew when I started working that I would definitely be in store for something foreign. However, I also thought that I would eventually be able to figure out the time that I needed to allow to get there, and then I would be fine. You see, I’m one of those girls who just accepts that it will take a certain amount of  time and that’s ok with me.  The problem begins when one day it takes 30 minutes, and another it takes 50 and once in a while, it takes 67 minutes.  How are you supposed to adjust?  No wonder people are crazy drivers! Thank goodness I have some freedom when it comes to my arrival time or I just might become one of those crazies. Just kidding, I hope I never do!

After 3 months I’ve figured that there is no rhyme or reason to the madness.  But I have figured one thing out…..THOSE ELECTRONIC SIGNS ON THE FREEWAY THAT ARE DESIGNED TO HELP YOU AVOID TRAFFIC…..THEY CAUSE IT!  I noticed that while traveling a particular freeway, one that others state “sucks”, (if you’re from where I am you know the saying) the traffic began to move at the same place every day.  And the sign…said the same thing every day, 9 minutes to the next freeway interchange. Everyday the same time, 9 minutes,…no variation.  I thought it weird, even when there were accidents, the sign said “9 minutes”, then, shortly passed the sign traffic broke and away I drove 60 miles per hour all the way to work.   And then one day, traffic was unusually heavy, I was wondering what was going on. Was there an accident? Maybe the sign would tell me, it’s coming soon, and the sign said ……Wow, it’s different, 12 minutes.  BUT  everything cleared after the sign and away I went. I thought…could it have been the sign?  Was it the new information and everyone was slowing down to read it.  That peaked my thought process, and I started to take note. Every day I paid attention.  I know, it’s really bad when you are studying traffic but I was going so slow that I had nothing better to do!  I’ve come to the conclusion, that when the sign is in any way different, traffic slows considerably, so the drivers can read the details.  Most of the time….”THE DETAILS” DON’T EVEN PERTAIN TO THE FREEWAY I’M TRAVELING!

One day it happened that my eldest daughter left the house after me and ended up at school (farther than my work place but in the same general area) before I arrived at work.  I couldn’t believe it!  The side of the freeway we traveled always looked jammed packed  in the direction she chose. But that was the straw….and in my frustration with the unpredictability of my situation, I took the suggestion of my wise child. She assured me that the traffic broke up after 1 freeway exit.

She was right.  After about a mile and a half, the freeway traffic magically clears right after the first exit, and it’s smooth sailing, all the way to work! …..Can you guess what’s just before the exit?   Yep…A traffic sign!

At least the sign only affects me for a bit!  And now….the boss is considering moving the office, it will be closer to my home, which is good!  I’m wondering if there’s a sign somewhere on he way, I hope not!

Picking up the pieces

The other day I was thinking about how blessed I was to have found Jesus.  I remembered how, for lack of a better word, “broken”, I felt.  It wasn’t one of those things where I knew I wanted God in my life.  I didn’t.  I didn’t have an aversion to God, I was taught that there was a creator and that Jesus was God’s son and he died on the cross. However, I didn’t understand the ”died on the cross for me“ aspect of God sending His son.  

I never thought of what that meant for me.  In fact, it was a total surprise to me that Jesus could love me just the way I was, with all the mistakes I had made!  It was also, a surprise to me, that on that day, I found myself raising my hand to accept Jesus as MY personal Lord and Savior! I could have said, “I don’t even know what made me do that”.  But I’ll tell you what, as much as a surprise as it was for me, it wasn’t a surprise for Jesus.  That one decision, was the BEST decision I made in my life, and has evolved over the years into a one-on-one daily relationship with my Savior.

It hasn’t always been like that, you know, the relationship part, but as life has changed for me, God has used certain situations, good and bad, to draw me near to Him. Trust me there have been many “situations” during the last 15 years where I truly have drawn close.  The bible say’s in James 4:8, to come near to God and He will come near to you”.  I try to remember that!

For years I had a wooden plaque hanging in my house.   The plaque, made by my daughter at bible camp, was special to me, not only because it was given to me by my daughter but also because it had a saying that I loved.    The saying “God can mend your broken heart, if you’ll give Him all the pieces” expressed exactly what had happened for me.  I remember, often thinking about how true it was and how pertinent the message.

Today, one of the things I think about often is how the world doesn’t think that God can make a difference to them personally.  I know so many who would testify with their personal experience otherwise and yet, those who don’t know Christ can’t see how it would help.  Some, having no aversion to God, may even feel like they have to get themselves together before going to church.  Like me, they may feel not good enough.

As I look back, I realize that I thought I had it all together and yet on the inside I knew all my sin and inequities. Not to mention I was totally insecure, I knew me!  I would have never admitted how I felt and I guess, I was lucky. I didn’t have time to think my decision through, I just found myself in the right place at the right time. For those who are thinking that they need to think God through, you’re missing out.  You can’t think God through, but you can come to Jesus just as you are, in all your “brokeness”. He is the one who can heal all the pieces, but you are the one that has to give Him the pieces to heal.  “The pieces” mean, your insecurities, your marriage, your addiction, your children, you! He’s the one who can help you see how you need Him.

Today, I’m not perfect, nobody is, and I make mistakes, still.   That’s why I need Jesus. Will I ever feel perfect? I doubt it, but perfectly imperfect is ok with me. 

As for my heart…I live in this world…it gets broken every once in a while.  But I know I am a child of God, and he loves ALL of this children. He wants the best for me so I’ll keep giving Him the pieces to pick up and put back together. I trust that He knows what’s good for me.

When Sleep Eludes Me

If you read my last post you may know that lately, I’ve stayed up Past My Bedtime. It’s been going on for a bit, and except for that particular night, I would have been in bed earlier if it was my choice. I am one of those mom’s who is uncomfortable going to bed before my children are home safe.  Most of the time, this is not because I can’t sleep if they’re not home, but because I sleep like a log, and then wake up with a start, in a panic, because I don’t know if they made it home safe.  So I wait….and mostly it doesn’t bother me, unless I’m extremely tired, and then I get crabby.  Sometimes, I sleep and set my phone alarm for around the time they’ll be home so I can doze until they’re home safe.  I know, you’re probably are thinking, “CRAZY!“, and I may be. But it works for me, and finding what works is a good thing.

Last night I was beat, I’d had a long week, and yesterday I attended a memorial service for a much loved family member, so it was one of those emotional days.  I actually think I was handling my emotions better prior to the service, than after, but that’s a whole different story.  I really wanted to enjoy staying up late because I didn’t have to get up in the morning, but needless to say, I couldn’t hold my eyes open. I was looking forward to SLEEP, and mostly, not having to set an alarm to wake up for anything!  I had the “yeeeessss” thought!  I new for sure I’d sleep till at least 8 and that would be wonderful!  (Yes, that’s “sleeping in” for me)

WRONG!  I woke up with a start! AT 4:40am! I think, one of the cats made a noise, but who the heck knows why, the most frustrating thing was that I was awake and that was the START of my thinking.  I tried to quiet my mind, but it didn’t work. I tried to go to back to sleep, but it didn’t work!  I thought, I relaxed, I tried to get comfortable and yet I KNEW I wasn’t going back to sleep.  

I prayed. I prayed the Lords prayer, I say that prayer a couple times a week. I attended a book study on the meaning of each line of the prayer, and, so…. I thought about that. I thought about how the priest had (in my opinion) butchered the prayer at the memorial service.  Mostly, because he quoted a paraphrased version, spoke way too fast, and then didn’t even recite the last line! 

Can you get the mind racing picture….no sleep for me!

 Then…. I thought about a comment the priest had made during the memorial service about missing the person who had left us, and remembered how I missed my dad when he passed.  The times when I was caught off guard the most, were prominent in my mind.  How I’d see something, or hear a statement, and quickly think “I’m going to call dad and tell him”. Then, just as quickly, I’d remember, he’s not here.  I’m lucky, I have a great (step) dad who would do just about anything for me, but he’s not here either. He lives in another state, and sometimes he’s actually asleep!  I know he wouldn’t care one bit if I called him, but I’d feel bad waking him. 

So I thought about all the other times I couldn’t sleep….I had a feeling I was going to be awake for the day. ”I should get up, pray, and read my bible, that always seems to quiet my thoughts” and usually I can go back to sleep.  Then I realized something wonderful……..Thank goodness I can spend time with my Father in heaven at anytime.  He’s always awake, always there, always listening and He always knows just what I need.  I love it when I open my bible to some random place and find just the right words. The words that were meant just for me, and how I’m feeling.  The words that comfort and relax me. If you read your bible often, you most likely understand just what I mean when I say, “that random place, wasn’t so random”.  I love those moments, they give me peace. Dad’s do that you know, they WANT to comfort their children, to give them peace. I think this is actually what He wanted too. For me to need Him, because when I need Him, it works.

Had I not written, I most likely could have been alseep by now, but I had to share. And now, phones are ringing, keys are opening the front door, and my family is actually moving about….. what’s going on, it’s only 6:30?

Past My Bedtime

Well, here I am again, staying up past my bedtime.  Can you believe that I actually had to tell myself that I had a bedtime,  just like my children when they were young?  Having a particular time when I actually think, “OK, you’re supposed to be sleeping,” just helps me to realize when I need to be more disciplined about getting sleep.  I know it’s important. and I’m learning to make this a priority, but it’s hard! For many years, staying up late was heavenly.  It was ”my” time, when the house was quiet and no one wanted anything from the mom!    As much as I still love the quiet evening hours, I’m realizing that sleep is a very important commodity.  I really need to work on figuring it out.  Do I have a lack of discipline?  I really don’t know.  

Tonight, the one thing I do know, is I want to go to bed, I’m just too tired to get up and go, plus the peace and quiet is wonderful…..I bet I’ll be paying for this decision tomorrow!

What’s a Beep?

Yesterday, my eldest daughter received a text message from her sister.  The middle child, while gallivanting through a midwestern state with her Auntie, Grandma and Cousin M, had just driven by a bunch of beeps, and she thought her sister should know. 

The text read “We just drove by a bunch of beeps!” 

WHAT? We had no idea what she was talking about! 

When you receive a text message, which is how many people tend to have conversations these days, you never really know if they’re meaning to say what they wrote, or if they’ve mis-typed. Sometimes, you may even try to guess what they meant to say, IF they did mis-type, by figuring out the letters they could have meant to type….It’s crazy!

We looked strangely at each other, and of course, she texted back….Beeps?

Then her phone rang….yes rang!   The middle child had actually called to explain!  Thank goodness for small things, like an actual conversation with voices and smiles and laughs. When she answered, I watched her get a slight smile on her face, giggle and then she explained to the rest of us…..It seems one of  Auntie’s favorite memories of my eldest as a child, was when she was young and called “sheep”, beeps!   I laughed!  She did do that!  I could almost hear her cute small voice saying it! Remembering, just that one small thing, brought a smile to my face.  It’s funny what you remember….. and what you forget. 

As a scrapbooker, I know that you cannot remember everything!  As a Creative Memories consultant, I teach my clients to write in their albums because the stories that go along with their pictures are the most important part of the album. Some of them are very good about it, keeping journals of the cute things their kids do and say. Some find it hard, probably because it is.   I’d like to say,  ”if I could share one thing with a young mom I’d tell her to write about, and to her children.”  Reality is, I’d  really have more than one thing to share with her. So on this subject, I’ll just say….You’ll never remember it all and even some of the fondest memories, will fade with time.  This is why I scrap!  I want to remember, and I want my kids to remember! 

Do you have to scrap to do this?  NO!  Find the memory keeping project that works for you!  Wether it be slide in photo albums, digital photo albums or traditional scrapbooking…..write the stories with your pictures, and read them every once in a while.  They’ll bring a smile to your day.

Remember, what you remember, may be different from what someone else remembers, so get another perspective every once in a while.  Ask someone else to share a fond memory like Dad, Grandma or Auntie!  

Thanks Auntie for sharing your memory, it has made me smile many times in the last couple of days.

And smiling is always good!

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I Was Thinking….

I know that some may say this is dangerous for me, you know, the thinking part,  but I bet they’re just teasing…I hope anyway!

I’ve had a few life changes lately that I’m getting used to and so far, I think I’m adjusting.  The biggest change is getting a job.  Now don’t get me wrong I’ve always had a job, it’s just that I’ve been blessed with being able to work from home.  I believe that having your our own business and working from home, definitely has had pluses and minuses.   The whole job outside of my house, well, it’s working out, but having had the flexibility of working on MY time clock was wonderful! I know the time will come, when I’m able to go back to that, but for now this opportunity has been given, and I’m thankful for it.

I really think I’m taking it in stride…there have been some reality checks for both myself and my family but we’re working through them and I know we’ll learn from this experience.  They’ve been great and very helpful! 

One thing I’ve already realized is that I like having time to relax in the morning before leaving for work.  It sets my day off correctly and I have a better mind-set .  I was remembering way back (and I mean way back) when I worked outside of the house and how the morning routine went.  I was always in a hurry, always rushing my eldest daughter, who was in preschool at the time,  to get out of the house and to the freeway.  There was a constant stress level, and at that time, I would have told you that’s just the way it is….not much I can do to fix it.  I would have never considered getting up earlier! I was always tired and felt like I didn’t get enough sleep! But today, I realize that getting up a little earlier, still spending my morning time reading, and even getting ready at a relaxed pace, is definately better than those “old days” of rush, hurry, stress. 

 I know some of you are groaning and saying “yeah, wait until you’ve been doing this for a while, you’ll want all the sleep you can get, cause you’ll be too exhausted to get up early.”  You may be right, but I have found that  being stressed and hurried makes me tired, and when I am tired, I become a little crazy, and besides adding to my lack of energy, CRAZY, is just not good!  Been there done that, don’t want to go back!

So today, on this, ”Thankful Thursday”, I’m thankful for the quiet time in the morning and my job.

God Bless!

“I Hate Teenagers”

Those ominous words were spoken from my eleven year old daughter while sitting in the park on Fourth of July.  I loved it!  It was received by our group with laughter, and an acknowledgment that she should know that one day, she would be a teenager. According to her, she would not ”hate” herself, because she would definitely not act like that.   From my point of view,…”thank goodness!”

That was the second time during the day I had heard that statement, the first from my oldest daughter. Later, she told me the story of walking behind a group of teens using some very unnecessary language, while discussing their future car plans…”they thought they were so cool,….if they only knew how stupid they sound!”

I thought having a teenager was an eye-opening experience, but sitting in the park with tens of thousand of people, checking out the clothes and definitely the hairdos that were being sported.  Now that’s eye-opening….and hilarious! For me, the people watching was part of the fun.  Have you ever wondered if you could be the subject of someone elses people watching?  When those thoughts pop into my head, that’s a moment when I want to just blend in with the crowd, and trust me I don’t want to blend  in very often! So I be very careful, as I don’t want to judge, lest I be judged, but it is very interesting.

Watching the people, especially the teens, and after those two comments, my awareness was heightened, and I was thankful for my girls.  Sometimes I forget that I have some great kids.  I tend to concentrate on the flaws in them and not the blessings. When I get caught up in that bad habit I lose track of the important things.  Yes, I know,  my children are not the only ones, there are some other great teenagers out there too.   A friend of mine, has encouraged me to write a list of all the things that I have to be grateful for, when I do that, I realize, I’m so blessed!  If I made a list of the things that I’m grateful for in my children I think that one side would severely outweigh the other.  Yet sometimes I want to correct all the flaws on the “bad” side of the list, I want to make them perfect.   They’re not perfect, and after “teen watching” and hearing stories from others I come across, I realize that they could be so much worse!  I can’t correct everything I see wrong,… after all, they will need something to work on themselves, and God isn’t finished with them yet. For now, I realize, that I’m lucky. That gives me hope! 

I’ll try, as I’m not perfect either, to encourage the behaviors I like, gently guide them, and pray! If there’s one thing I know, prayer works, and God is more likely to change them than I am. In fact, He’ll likely change me too….as he’s been working on that “log” for a while…

If you would like to make a difference…..pray for those teens in the park, they are our future! 

I know I will be.  God Bless!